The Article below was taken from a “Rightist” German sympathizing London newspaper the “Star Times”. The management here takes no responsibility for accuracy, content, or sources.

HORRIBLE CARNAGE AT “DUJBEEKI”!!!

The following article is reprinted here in the London STAR TIMES after appearing in one of Berlin’s leading papers  (“Der Strasser”) two days ago.  It is reprinted without permission.

The note below was sent via special messenger to the British Prime Minister “Sir Melville Stoner” by his Imperial Majesty the Kaiser

“His Majesty the Emperor most strongly protests the recent violation
of German territory by British forces and their slave-trading
allies!!! In what can only be termed an act of piracy, a British
force led by a one Colonel Winky and assisted by Sherlock Holmes and
a one Dr. Watson, agents of the British Government, invaded the
German protectorate of Trans-Afrika, slaughtering hundreds of
innocent, peace-loving citizens of his Majesty.

In a blatant disregard for the Treaties of Berlin and Heligoland,
British forces laid siege to the town of Sclactplatte and
ultimately destroyed it and inflicting hundreds of civilian
casualties. Under the circumstances, the populace attempted a
resistance co-coordinated and led by Lt. Wilhelm Rolfe and assisted by
Sergeant Eberhard Schultz of the 4th Seebatallion but unfortunately
they were outnumbered yet fought bravely to the end.

According to sources, the British incursion was instigated by
Sherlock Holmes as part of an overall plan to annex Trans-Afrika and
to seize control of the copra trade and to re-establish the slave
trade in this area. Also, it has been rumored that Herr Holmes was
also conducting a personal vendetta against a one “Dr. Moriarty” and
according to medical experts; Herr Holmes was acting under the
influence of narcotics to include cocaine.

His German Imperial Majesty’s Government demands full restitution
for all damages and the extradition of Herr Holmes and Dr. Watson
for levying war against the German Empire and piracy. Also, His
Majesty demands the immediate extradition of Col. Winky for piracy,
war crimes, slave trading, and other unspecified acts.

Here is Victoria‘s reply to Willie ( a copy sent to us by a brave and sympathetic source in the royal house)

Letter to the Times in reply to comments made by ?Willie? Kaiser Wilhelm II in a German newspaper.

Grandma is not amused!  Your spurious comments made regarding Her Majesty’s Colonial policy and the actions of British troops in suppressing the slave trade in Africa are at best ludicrous. Apparently you are the one under the influence of some very strong narcotic in order to make comments tantamount to causing an international incident that may have an impact on the peace that the whole of Europe currently enjoys.

Your accusations regarding the incident in question points to the lack of management and knowledge your government has in controlling its own colonial possessions. The harboring of individuals both indigenous and foreign involved in the flagrant illegal slave trade taking place in those areas of the African continent under German possession are in direct violation of the Treaty of Ghent, The English Emancipation Act and of most import:

An Act for carrying into execution a Treaty signed at London for the Suppression of the Slave Trade, so far as the same relates to Great Britain, Austria, Prussia, and Russia [10 August 1843]

If memory serves me a mere 47 years prior to your treaty of Heligoland signed July of 1890 or 56 years separating the Treaty of Berlin signed in 1899.

Her Majesty’s government will not tolerate the renegade acts of German military personnel like Lt. Wilhelm Rolfe and Sergeant Eberhard Schultz of the 4th Seebatallion who directly or indirectly violated several treaties of alliance by openly and aggressively taking hostile action against the forces of Her Majesty under the command of Col. Winky. Col. Winky wishes to express that the any imminent acts of belligerence by the Hun will be just as violently dealt with.

As for your salacious attack upon Britton’s foremost expert in crime, it is unfortunate that Mr. Holmes and his colleague Dr. Watson are still sailing for England and that both of these gentlemen cannot defend their honor and reputation. In a short note I received from Mr. Holmes? brother Mycroft he states, ?Poor Willie, only the German is so uncourteous to his verbs (Herr Holmes was acting under the influence of narcotics to include cocaine.)
Her Majesty will expect a full apology regarding this issue, as will Col. Winky, Mr. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John H. Watson. It is Her Majesty’s hope the comments made were those of an impetuous temperamental youth and not those of a dignified leader of a burgeoning nation.

   

If these reports are true, and after the wonderful support by the brave German forces who assisted us against the dastardly Belgian incursion into one of our African territories only a month ago how could it be?, then one would think that the British people will demand the investigation of the matter.  Who in our government would give such an order?  To attack our staunch ally, the German people!  Whose private agenda and pompous attitude of thinking  that they know what is best for us would allow him to think for one minute that he has the authority for such an order!

 

Again we hear the name of Sherlock Holmes involved in a nefarious plot supposedly “to protect the British people” how many times has protecting the British people translated into the governments lining of  this busy bodies pockets.  And whose pocket is this Holmes and Watson dipping into?  He calls himself a consulting Detective?  A trade I have never heard of!  There are no reports of the large fees he collects for this?  And the majority of the time the credit is going to Scotland Yard.  His constant companion Watson a supposedly medical man whose trade we have found to be minimally rewarded at best is always at his side.  Yet the two of these men travel in high circles of society, trot across the globe, and are never apparently in need of money despite their apparent lack of substantial income?

After putting the above thoughts to the English people this reporter’s main task is to present the photographs and report of one of their field correspondents who just happened to be traveling on the British gunboat HMS “Unstoppable” returning from the battle mentioned earlier of “Temple Point”.  Our readers will remember that this is the battle where the Imperial German forces bravely assisted us in putting down a plot involving the kidnapping of several English and German nationals whose names have not been released. ( Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson were somehow involved her too! Blaming the kidnapping on a mathematics professor! a one Professor Moriarty. Preposterous! )

 

After learning we had been diverted along with the forces of her imperial Majesty Queen Victoria we sailed along the coast passing into German territorial waters.  I was informed that all was in order and that we were about to engage in a punitive expedition to destroy it a small group of slavers operating from a base only several miles away.  There were several other reporters aboard the “HMS. UNSTOPPABLE” along with a couple of English civilians by the names of Holmes and Watson.  I devoted much effort to interviewing Holmes and Watson as they had accompanied her Majesty’s forces into battle on the last expedition and we reporters were kept in a rare but they spent much of their time with the military expeditions officers in consultation in their cabins and seem to reluctant to engage in anything but the most rudimentary pleasantries with reporters.

 

The action was quite fast and in rather confusing not surprising given the spur of the moment change in orders we had received aboard the boat.  My camera and photography assistant did our best to capture what we could for our readers.

The steam powered gunboat Unstoppable covered the landing of many barges full of men of equipment in the shade of some palm groves.  Several of the large mechanical steam spiders were landed further down the coast because of the harder ground and advanced by land to the battle.  The two companies of English regular foot proceeded in in the direction of the village using the palm groves as cover.

As soon as the English forces showed themselves they came under heavy fire from a village.  The village appeared to be fortified and well-prepared for the attack by her Majesty’s forces?  Had someone informed them?  This is yet to be confirmed.

In this picture you can see Major Tremble on his horse at the edge of the palm groves leading his forces.  The Arab strong point is clearly visible here with their gun crew in the courtyard.  One of the or leader Sabu is just seen raising his fist in defiance at the door of the fortresses tower. 

Her Majesty’s armored walkers commonly called “steam spiders” advance upon the village engaging a lively duel with the Arab gunners.  It was at this point that Punji Rajasthan piloting one of his inventions and Arab land Dhow or sand ship as our soldiers call it was a do advance of the village and fire upon the steam spider.  After lengthy duel her Majesty’s steam spider put a round through the Arab machine.  Unfortunately the resulting explosion killed half a dozen or so of her Majesty’s foot who were caught in the resulting explosion and fire ball!

One of her Majesty’s small light steam tanks stealthily approaches one of the imperial German war machines.  At this point the British were unsure of whether or not to fire upon the recent German allies.  The British tank veered off to engage the Arabs.  At this point the imperial German war machine disgorged its contents of a German see Battalion commanded by one lieutenant Rolfe.  The lieutenant was heard to yell to the closest British officer that he was in violation of several international treaties and that he should immediately withdraw his forces.  The British officer tipped his cap and proceeded to order another volley into the air of defenders to his front.  The German lieutenant then took his men into the village in support of the natives.

This picture shows the German lieutenant giving orders to his men.  The lieutenant and his men were observed to enter the village and add their firepower to the native defense.  After a short exchange the lieutenant was seen to jump up upon a wall and extort his men to a magnificent charge worthy of much praise against our equally brave soldiers staunchly defending a strong point consisting of many large boulders.  The battle was much confused here with bloody hand-to-hand fighting.  The engagement seesawed back and forth and at one point the British colors were seen to fall!  Two British officers let a final countercharge killing the last of the Germans.  Lt. Rolfe was seen to be killed in the engagement.

It was at this point that the battle rose in intensity to such a fierce exchange that myself and my photographer were forced to take cover! There was reported however much charging and countercharging with horrendous casualties on both sides. Despite his questionable status on the battlefield Dr. Watson and Sherlock Holmes were seen on several occasions to be moving through the ranks of wounded giving what aid they could. If this is in fact true we do give them a tip of the hat. In the smoke and haze by photographer and I became disoriented and after a bit found ourselves in the midst of the Arab village! We were about to seek shelter in one of the Arab buildings when a man appeared in the doorway. He gave us a stern look, stole two oranges from a basket at the doorway and hurried off in the direction of the harbor. Later at Camp I was told by another reporter that this undoubtedly was the great English mathematician Professor Moriarty. One can only wonder as to his purpose in this part of Africa.

Faithfully reported as it happened for you,

Dudley M. Ondispott

Reporter for the London Star

This was my first attempt at running a game at the Bengal club and the Bengal club’s first attempt to play gaslight. I believe it was a good experience for all. I as usual attempted to make too grandiose a game. However the membership all being experienced gamers picked up quickly on the rules, even the ones I made upon the spot and turned the evening into a pleasant time. I look forward to doing another gaslight game at the club. Hopefully the membership will now develop some contraptions of their own and beat the pulp out of me.